(Not Quite) Wordless Wednesday: Scrapbooking

This is why I scrapbook . . . because every year or so the kids take them out and pore over them saying things like, "Did I really say that?" and "Oh, I remember that!" Family memories are worth every penny I spend on these books and every hour I spend agonizing over them. I declare June scrapbooking month around here (because it ain't gonna happen in May). I figure once the kids are out of school they can take care of themselves while I get crafty. Who's with me?

And the other reason to make scrapbooks is to have a way to save pictures like this for posterity:

Mondays with Martha: Mother's Day

Martha has some great ideas for Mother's Day--a huge list of gifty crafts that look lovely and not too difficult. Maybe you can print off some of the ideas and leave them in strategic locations around the house for your kids to find.

Which reminds me, occasionally I have a good idea. This year inspiration struck and I decided to have some of the girls' friends over to make mother's day crafts. They made cards...

And they made gifts...

But I can't show you the finished product because it's a surprise.

The great thing about this was that it was fun for the girls but also a nice gift for their moms. When kids are little their teachers help them make something nice for mom, but by about third grade that ends and it's up to the kids. Or the dads. And sometimes the gifts are either nonexistent or, let's be honest, a little bit lame. But since this is the one day a year that moms get honored for all their work, it's nice to help the kids come up with something their moms will actually want (hopefully). And to spend more than five minutes making a card, which is my favorite thing to receive on Mother's Day. This was so fun that I think this may become an annual tradition around here.

You still have one week left before Mother's Day, so you can find a craft and have some kids over to make something nice for their moms. As Martha would say, it's a good thing.

On Blogging

Perhaps you've noticed that my blogging has been a little bit sporadic lately. Maybe you haven't noticed.

Sure, I've been busy with several (paying!) work projects at the same time. But I don't think that's the only reason I haven't been blogging. I think I have blog fatigue. It's not writing fatigue, it's too-many-blogs-in-the-world fatigue. I don't want to write another post about how hard it is to be a mom or how worth it it all is--there are so many of those already and I'm tired of them. I think I'm emotionally wrung out from all the intensity. And I don't want to try to come up with a controversial topic to blog about in some (destined-to-be-unsuccessful) attempt to go viral. And I don't want to waste your time or mine.

So here's what I've decided: I'm going to write occasionally--maybe once a week--but only if I think I have something to say. I'm not going to force this thing. You're welcome.

In the "someone has already said it better than I could" category, here is a blog post on marriage that I really enjoyed reading. This blogger has a few kids with autism and a few with diabetes (three kids total I think), so some of you may want to bookmark her page and go back.

In the "things that make me happy" category, in the ten minutes between chauffeuring trips yesterday I picked these and set the table and started dinner. It was a good reminder to me that it really doesn't take very long, even on a busy day, to bring a little beauty to your family life. Maybe these will inspire you to do a little something extra for your family today.

It's the Little Things

Today I am thankful for

#225 a yard for the boy to play in with his cute jester hat

#226 An old toy rediscovered for the youngest child after having been lovingly played with by three older sisters.

#227 homemade granola.

What are you thankful for today? Share it in a comment!

Defeat

I had one of those days yesterday. My to-do list was just as long at the end of the day as it was at the beginning of it, even though I worked hard all day. People were difficult. I was difficult. Other people were mad at me. I was mad at myself. In the end, I felt totally defeated. Not good enough. Rejected. Like an utter failure. It was kind of like jr. high all over again, and I couldn't even blame it on hormones. Sometimes those bad feelings just keep compounding, and you know you're being irrational but you just can't turn off the negative thoughts.

The funny thing is, outwardly my day was pretty good. I had an encouraging call from an employer who was happy with my work and I got a jewelry order. But it only takes one bad message to tune out a dozen positive ones. And the irony that these defeated feelings came after my thoughts on rulers and servants was not lost on me. God is good at creating and making the most of "teachable moments."And he does tend to send encouragement in our discouraged moments if we have eyes to see it.

We all have our little coping mechanisms on bad days. A good book. A long nap. A bubble bath. Warm milk. Chocolate cake. Going for a run. A glass of wine. A phone call with a friend. Journaling. Retail therapy. All of the above.

Those things can be helpful in a small way. But I find that the only way I can turn off all the negative self-talk is by replacing those false messages with true ones. Who am I? Not failure, not rejected, not defeated. I am Beloved by God, Child of the King, Victorious in Christ. Capable and gifted because that's how God has made each one of us. My standing before God is the sure, true, eternal thing, and all these other things are temporary at best and lies at worst. Some days it takes a long time of repeating to myself (in my head, lest people begin to question my sanity) these messages before I believe them.

Or, better yet, I need to let God say these true messages to me in his Word:

The Lord your God is in your midst,

     a mighty one who will save;

he will rejoice over you with gladness;

    he will quiet you by his love;

he will exult over you with loud singing. (Zeph. 3:17)

My bad day got me thinking: how will my kids learn to deal with these kinds of days? I'm not sure I tell them when I feel defeated or what I'm doing to pull myself out of it, because I don't want them hearing and picking up on negative self-talk. And I'm not sure I notice when they are having these kinds of days because they may not even recognize it and they may not verbalize it even if they do (it may show up as obstinance or inexplicable grumpiness).

So my bad day yesterday was a good reminder to help my kids acknowledge their bad feelings and learn how to deal with them in a healthy way. It's not enough to just give them the true messages of who they are in Christ--although of course that's crucial. I also need to let them see that mom sometimes feels like a failure, but that I know Whom to go to first when I need a pick-me-up. Not friends, not self-help books, not distractions, but God. The one who saves me, rejoices over me, and quiets me with his love. The one who sings for me.

When my kids have bad days that make them feel defeated, I need to be a conduit of Christ's healing love to them. Not offering the world's messages of self-esteem or even my own feeble expressions of love, but offering Christ's love and grace. Telling them that God made them wonderful, that he has a purpose for them, that he is helping them grow. Telling them that I love them and cheer for them. Reminding them of past successes and then maybe offering some of those simpler coping mechanisms that will make them feel better. A bowl of Moose Tracks ice cream perhaps. But it has to start with God's love for them, because that's the only true comfort on a day of defeat. The best part is, you can always count on him to sing a beautiful lullaby over you.

Wordless Wednesday

Rulers or Servants?

When you think of your goals for your children, what usually comes to mind? I think of phrases like living up to their potential and discovering their gifts and doing their best. I encourage perseverance and success and trying new things so they'll get a sense that they can conquer the world. I tell them they can do anything they put their mind to, but that most of all I want them to love Jesus and serve him.

That's not a new goal, of course. In the little town of Strasburg, Virginia, there is a Bible on display, and in that Bible is an inscription dated 1773 that reads:  

On the First of July 1759, I Simon Harr (born the 3rd of July 1734) married Elizabeth Schmitten. Two sons were born to us. The first one Frederic, by name, was born the 4th of April 1760 on good Friday evening at 10 o'clock. The second and last, John by name (Johannes) was born in 1761, on the 19th of Dec. at midnight. Thou, O Triune God, may it please thee to let them grow and develop as well in faith, wisdom and piety and all Christian virtues as in years. Oh vouchsafe to all of us thy Holy Spirit, that it guide us all in truth together and bring us along the strait path and even nearer to our heavenly inheritance and finally bring us hither. For Jesus sake, Amen.

When push comes to shove, my goal for my kids is to raise them to the best of my ability to be a certain kind of person, regardless of what profession they may choose. And I think I've communicated that well enough that they would all say that's what I want for them. But this morning in my mom's group I was struck by a question the speaker asked: Are we raising rulers or servants? Much as I want my kids to have hearts of compassion and serve others, I don't think ultimately that's the goal I usually work for. I think of it as sort of an afterthought: Find a profession with some meaning and purpose behind it, and then use it to serve others. I imagine them serving in positions of influence and leadership--teachers or artists or doctors or mothers or missionaries. I don't think I'm preparing them for careers as janitors or restaurant workers or lawnservice people or grocery store baggers. 

Now, there's nothing wrong with striving to help our kids reach their potential or feel good about the gifts God has given them. In fact, I would say that it's good stewardship to prepare our kids to be whatever God has gifted and called them to do. But am I trying so hard to give my kids great experiences and prepare them to lead that I forget to prepare them to serve? Do I set them up to think they should be the best at something, that they should strive for a profession of influence and leadership? Will they struggle with feelings of failure if they end up in a profession the world sees as pretty lowly? Heaven forbid, will they think I'm disappointed in them if they don't live up to their potential?

For me, these lessons hit home because I often feel like my education was wasted. What have I done with my college degree from a prestigious Christian college? I'm working to raise five kids--usually not very well--and copy edit words that other people have written. It's not much, by the world's estimation. It's not even much by my own estimation!

And yet, this is what I'm called to. Maybe there won't ever be much success in my life. Maybe I'll never rule much of anything. But I'm definitely serving. And Jesus, when he washed the disciples' feet--a lowly job if ever there was one--called that act the full extent of love (John 13:1).

Perhaps my parenting priorities need some tweaking. Forget success and potential and conquering the world: I want to teach my children to love. Not as an afterthought, but as the main purpose of their lives. And that means showing them how to serve. What does that look like? Well, I'm pretty sure it starts at home with serving each other. And it involves expanding their world so they develop compassion for people who are hurting. It includes service projects and missions trips and serving at church. And, perhaps most of all, it means setting an example of loving, humble service that doesn't look down on anyone or any task. It means being cheerful and content with my own profession of laundry and dishes and diaper-changing and nose-wiping.