Flair Pens and Other School Supplies

I now refer to it as the flair pen incident of 2006. My oldest child was starting first grade, so I dutifully took all three children (ages 6, 3, and 1) to the store to buy school supplies. Consulting the list, I checked off items one by one: folders, paper, notebooks, pencils...and then I came to item number 175: black flair pens. Unfortunately, Target was sold out. So the four of us went to Office Max. Also sold out. And the grocery store. Also sold out. And Walgreens. Also sold out. And Carlson's art store. Also sold out. I think I finally ordered them online and paid exorbitant shipping costs because obviously my child needed 2 flair pens for her first day of school. It was on the list, and I was a rule follower.

Fast forward one year. I had learned a few things, among them that half the things on the school supply list don't get used, or are put into the teacher's cabinet for general classroom use and they really don't go through 30 boxes of dixie cups. 30 boxes of kleenex, probably. Flair pens were on the list again in 2007, and we sent in the ones that had come home at the end of first grade, having been used once. In 2009 I ordered a jumbo-sized box of 30 flair pens that we're still working our way through.

So no, Alison, I am not going to go shopping to three or four stores looking for an expandable that has eight pockets. All the ones at Target had seven, and I think you can make do. Double up on subjects if you need to. And no, Bethany, I don't think we need to send in four composition books for gym class on the first day. When you've used the first two I'll buy you another one. And Meredith, the list may say Ticonderoga pencils, but I think Dixon-Ticonderoga is close enough. I am never again dragging three children to five or six stores looking for flair pens. I've learned my lesson: close enough is good enough.

If You Clean a Cupboard

If you clean your kitchen cupboards,

you'll realize how disorganized your bathroom is. You'll go to clean that up

and find a crayon, which will remind you that the craft and summer "school" stuff is in disarray. While you're cleaning that

you'll realize that you need to get rid of stuff from the cabinet to make room for the crayons. While you're cleaning that you'll notice an old table cloth. 

When you put that on the table you'll realize that you're a little hungry. You'll go to the kitchen cupboards to get a snack and realize just how nice they look. Which will remind you that it would be really nice to clean your bedroom. But then you'll remember that first you have to organize the sock pile.

And you'll decide to just enjoy your coffee and well-deserved cookie and hope that the sock fairy shows up.

Keeping Kids Organized

It's ironic that this post comes late in the day on a week I've only blogged once. Apparently I need to take my own advice!

Do you have one of those kids who seems to never be able to find what they need? Missing assignments, missing clothes, missing shoes, chronic lateness . . .

I have one of those kids, and as she gets older, the stakes keep get higher. So here is what I've learned about keeping kids organized as I've struggled through the early school years with her:

1) Teach kids to make lists. When my daughter was younger I made lists for her, but now she makes them for herself. Those post-it notes and dry erase boards in lockers are helpful if you remind them to write it down. I was amused a few weeks back when I noticed my daughter had written on both sides of her hand. I asked her what it said, and she listed off something she needed to remember. Then I asked what was written on the top of her hand, and she read off, "look on other side."

2) Make sure they clean out their backpacks and folders regularly. Disorganized kids won't think to do this without being reminded, and every bit of clutter only serves to make their minds more cluttered.

3) Try to identify what the issue is. Is it that they don't know how to organize things? Work together on some organization projects and tell your child each step of what you're doing: First we take everything out, then we make piles of stuff to keep, toss, or give away. Then we find a storage solution for whatever we're keeping.

Is it that they are a perfectionist, and the moment something is out of order they give up and leave it a mess? Try to work with them on getting things good enough to be functional.

Is it that they get distracted easily? This one is definitely the hardest nut to crack. It helps to make their environment (room, desk, etc.) less cluttered. Beyond that, just keep praising them every time they stick with a task and reminding them every time they forget what they are doing.

4) Make notes to yourself about what you need to remind the child about. Yes, it would be nice if they remembered to bring their instrument to school on orchestra days by themselves. But maybe it's easier to just remind them in the morning as they're walking out the door. I find this means I need to be on top of things myself by getting up on time and making notes for myself.

5) Consequences, consequences. At some point disorganized kids need to learn to manage their own world. Pick some reasonable, age-appropriate level of things they need to do on their own and then give some painful consequences if they fail to follow through. Missing assignments equals missing playdates. Forgotten stuff equals no screen time. That kind of thing.

6) Chill out. This is the one I need to work on. As a goal-oriented, organized type of person, it's really hard for me to relax and let my daughter muddle through in her disorganized way. Being disorganized is part of her makeup. It's what makes her a people person, tuned into the feelings of others. It's what makes her musical and creative. Unfortunately, since I like an orderly world, I tend to overreact about her slip-ups.

The trick is to find a balance over time between teaching your child the skills they need to succeed in life and understanding that they are a person who is supposed to be a little disorganized because that's what goes along with their personality and gifting. There are lots of amazing people in the world who are disorganized, and somehow they make it through life. Don't stop trying to help your child learn better organization (for their good and your sanity), but don't make them and yourself miserable trying to change who they are.

Mondays with Martha

The kids are off school, which we all know means dearth of free time. But I thought a little organization inspiration might be in order. Remember when I told you my cleaning secret? I put my 15-minute plan into action on Friday, and I thought a few before and after shots might be inspiring. It really does only take 15 minutes to whip one corner into shape. Do that a few days in a row and your house will be ship-shape in no time.

Desk before

Desk after

Kids' craft corner in the dining room before

and after

And in case you need a little more help than I can offer, here's Martha's tip for the day:


I don't know about you, but I always wish my twine collection was more accessible, and I never know what to do with my spare funnels.