Storing September

September is such a great month. It's often sunny and still warm enough to be outside, but there's a crispness in the air that reminds us that fall and winter will be upon us soon. It's a good month for savoring the last bits of summer and storing up goodness to get us through the cold months ahead. This little poem about September sums it up well.

STORING SEPTEMBER

You ask me what I did today,

I could pretend and say

“I don’t remember.”

But, no, I’ll tell you what I did today--

I stored September.

Sat in the sun and let the sun sink in,

Let all the warmth of it caress my skin.

When winter comes, my skin will still remember

The day I stored September.

And then, my eyes--

I filled them with the deepest, bluest skies

and all the traceries of wasps and butterflies.

When winter comes, my eyes will still remember

The day they stored September.

And then there was cricket song to fill my ears!

And the taste of grapes

And the deep purple of them!

And asters, like small clumps of sky. . .

You know how much I love them.

That’s what I did today

And I know why.

Just simply for the love of it,

I stored September.

-Elizabeth Rooney

This particular September we took a trip back up to the lake house in Michigan to grasp at the last bits of our wonderful summer. We had glorious weather, wonderful food, and precious playtime. What a great way to store up September.

But reality struck when we got home--trials little and big, as I wrote about a few days ago. And it's got me thinking. We never know what's coming up ahead. We might sail along great for a long time, or we might be faced with terrible things tomorrow. Financial disaster. The breakup of a family. A medical diagnosis with life-changing consequences. The death of someone near and dear. If we can store up the wonderful moments of September to get us through the winter, can we also use times of calm to store up something to help us through the storms of life?

I think we can. We can store up relationships, caring for them in the day to day so that in times of stress or busyness they can stand up to a bit of neglect. We can store up Scripture and blessings in a journal to open and read down the road. We can store up happy moments, taking a weekend off to enjoy our lives instead of always trying to do, do, do. We can store up tidbits of knowledge that we don't need yet, but may need soon. We can store up the feel of our child's hand in ours and the smoothness of their skin when they are little. The sound of their mayhem and laughter. The joy of sharing a sunset with someone we love. We can store up all our little glimpses of heaven.

So as I go about these weeks when a dark cloud hangs over me as I watch loved ones struggle and persevere, I don't want to waste these moments. I want to store up things I'll need when I have an opportunity to encourage them, the same things I'll need when my turn in the fire comes. I want to store up all the Septembers of life to get me through the snowstorms of January and the dark sludge of February, until glorious June comes again with its promise of sunny days ahead.

Glorious Boredom

Summer vacation starts in just a few short days. As you saw in my post last week, I've been in an organizing frenzy. I think I'm trying to get a hold on my sanity before the kids are home. All day. Every day. Including the days when I'm packing for our vacations, which as you saw in my other post last week are a lot of work. I have a plan for how we'll all get by this summer, which I may share tomorrow. Or I may wait to see how well it works.

I want to let you in on a little secret that I don't think my kids know: I think it's good for them to be bored. When they come to me with wails of "I'm bored! I have nothing to do!" I don't panic, I secretly rejoice. And then I offer to find them something to do, which of course they decline because they know it will involve work on their part.

The thing is, I think it is in boredom that creativity is birthed. Boredom necessitates growth. It drives kids to think and do new things. Dissatisfaction dissolves as simple joys are rediscovered.

If we fill boredom with constant outings and mom-directed activities and that brain drain called TV, it never achieves its purpose of creative discovery. But if we let it fester for a few minutes, or even a few days, it's amazing what happens. New games are created.

(okay, this was maybe not my favorite game, and that's obviously an old picture, but I couldn't resist including it.)

Old toys are rediscovered.

Siblings become friends.

 Children curl up in corners with good books. 

Culinary masterpieces emerge from the kitchen.

Stories are imagined.

 Artistic masterpieces appear on bedroom walls as if by magic.

Scientific experiments are unveiled.

Tadpoles are captured and observed.

Entire cities are built (yes, this picture is a few years old too).

So as you start this summer, go ahead and make your bucket list. Hit the waterparks and museums and mini golf courses. Take advantage of the wonderful treasure that is summer with kids. But on your days home, don't be afraid of a little boredom. Don't view it as a problem to be fixed or feel guilty if you haven't kept your kids happy and busy every single second. Don't pressure yourself to maximize every opportunity for activity or feel like a failure if days go by in which you accomplish nothing. Embrace the boredom, let it simmer for a little while, and then see what wonderful discoveries your kids make. And if you can find time for a little of your own boredom, that's even better!

Vacation Tips for Families

I remember someone once telling me that after you have kids you never go on vacation again. You go on trips, on which you do all the stuff you normally do for the children, only it's harder because you don't have the conveniences and routines you have at home. Happy thought, isn't it?

But I do think travel is worth it. It builds memories and bonds you together as a family. Even the worst vacations you will one day look back on with fondness. Well, maybe not the one where more than half of the people at the 60-plus person family reunion got the same stomach bug. No fond memories there. But even the hours of squabbling in the car yield happy memories down the road. And the night we tried car-camping after a full day on the road with a four-year-old and a crawling baby. The four-year-old was delighted with the tent and would not stop singing. The baby spent the night crawling all over us because she had been cooped up in the car all day. Daddy, who had driven many hours that day, was not happy. Not a whole lot of sleeping took place, and we never tried that again. And yet we look back on it with a certain nostalgia.

So, in my twelve years of packing and road tripping with children in tow, here's what I've learned:

1) Pack light. Figure out what you think you need and then put half of it back. Especially if you have access to a washing machine--it's nice to come home with most of your laundry done anyway, so there's no need to pack outfits for your entire time if you can do laundry while you're there. When I was a kid we took trips to England every other summer or so, and the rule was that each kid had to be able to carry all their own stuff. It wasn't easy for my mom to pack, I'm sure, since we were gone for six weeks at a time, but somehow she managed, and it made it much easier that each child could carry their own suitcase into their hotel room. And this was in the days before wheeled suitcases, so we actually carried our own bags.

We always travel by car, so that rule isn't quite as important. I used to give each kid their own suitcase with the idea that they would pack it, carry it out of the car to their room, and then repack when it was time to head home. That never really happened, so I've recently developed a new tactic: pack all the kids' clothes in one big plastic tub.

It is a lot more compact than individual suitcases, and they unpack their stuff once we get there anyway, so the suitcases just sit empty and in the way for the week. Plus it's only one thing for my strapping husband to carry in and out, rather than five.

2) Pack toys that your kids can play together. Think legos, cars, sports equipment, craft supplies, dolls of the same type. Have the kids agree on one or two categories of toys and then put them all in a box or two and then that's it for the toys. And look, it all goes in one big box with a lid! Make that two boxes: one for indoor toys/games and one for beach stuff and outside toys.

3) Pack light for the car. If you have video games or a DVD player in the car, indulge them with unlimited screen time. I used to pack a box or bag for each kid. Now I have one tall soft-sided cooler-type box with a zipper lid and their stuff all has to fit in it. DS's, music, books, stuffed animals, stuff to draw with, etc.

If it doesn't fit in the one box, it's not going. (Well, other than that tiny little backpack for the littlest tyke.) I've found that if I pack a lot of stuff for them to do they just make a mess getting it all out and they really only do one or two things the entire trip anyway. Having a lot of things to do in the car seems to not make the kids any more content than they are with only a few things to do--so make the car neater and your life easier by packing light.

4) Don't waste stops on eating. Find nice rest stops where the kids can run around, and then set up a game of tag or get out a soccer ball and kick it around. When it's time to eat, eat in the car because that's a great form of entertainment. McDonald's playlands are great too, of course, especially if the kids are old enough to play independently while you eat in peace.

5) Books on CD are great. I've found that it is a little hard to find things that are interesting to a variety of ages and appropriate for all listeners. Bill Cosby and even Garrison Keillor are not as appropriate as you might think (we discovered the hard way)! Here are a few we've enjoyed: The Princess and Curdie series by George MacDonald, the Narnia series by C. S. Lewis, the Redwall books, Mrs. Frisby and the Rats of Nimh, and the Fudge books by Judy Blume (although parts of those books had me cringing).

6) Come equipped with a few things to do on a rainy day. I save craft ideas throughout the year, and then when we go on vacation I bring supplies for one craft we've never tried before. I always feel more relaxed if I have a few surprises up my sleeve for those times when the kids are bored and then grown-ups don't want to go out.

7) Don't forget those medical supplies. It's no fun to have to run out at 10:00 at night in a strange town for some baby Tylenol or Benedryl cream for that strange rash.

So there you have it. I've just saved you a dozen years of trial and error!

One Good Thing

My last post on slowing down this summer got me thinking about what else I'm aiming for this summer. It's great to have plans for the kids and scour Pinterest for fun crafts and think about how you'll help them develop new skills and maintain old ones during the months off of school. But sometimes we moms spend all of our time helping them, and we forget to help ourselves. We make goals for our kids but not for us. We take care of everyone else first and neglect our own needs for devotional time, book-reading, relaxation, or time with friends. And everybody suffers when we do that.

For the past few years a few friends and I have had a summer book study. We schedule one evening a week to get together at someone's house and discuss one chapter from whatever book we've chosen. Our favorite so far is this one:

Most weeks, of course, at least one person is missing. But we just carry on and do the next chapter anyway. It's been a great discipline for us in those months when formal church Bible studies are "off" for the summer and church attendance is spotty due to travel.

Maybe a book study would be good for you to try this summer. Call a few friends and see if someone wants to join you, or at least hold you accountable to doing it on your own. Or maybe that's not doable but you could make some other goal for yourself. Not for the kids, but for yourself. Maybe you would benefit from taking a prayer walk a few times a week. Or maybe you need to go in your room, lock the kids out, and read your Bible for fifteen minutes every day this summer. Maybe there is a stack of books on your "to read" shelf and you should promise yourself fifteen minutes of reading time every night before bed even if it means the dishes don't get done until tomorrow. Maybe there's some great book everyone has been talking about that you really want to read but haven't gotten around to reading yet. Give yourself permission to do it by making it a goal instead of an "extra." Whatever you choose to be your one good thing for this summer, promise yourself you'll do even if it means the laundry has to wait one more day. Don't let it be the thing you'll do if you have time, because we all know that doesn't happen. Doing one good thing for ourselves requires intentionality or we'll never get around to it.

So, what's one good thing you plan to do for yourself this summer? Share it with us so we can be inspired!

Slow Summer

Well, it's that time of year again. My heart is filled with equal parts excitement and dread. The kids are just filled with excitement. That's right, summer vacation is around the corner. When I was a kid that meant long days playing in the yard, bike rides to the ice cream shop, outings to the farmer's market and the library, and some boredom. It meant writing stories and watching movies and playing cops and robbers in the neighborhood and going to evening concerts at Memorial Park.

I don't think that's what it means to my kids. To them, summer is a week of this vacation Bible school and a week of that music camp and two weeks of summer camp. Playdates with friends are often hard to schedule between our summer activities and theirs, so those have to be scheduled in advance. We usually get out for a few of the evening concerts and ride our bikes to the popcorn shop for classic car night, and we certainly don't miss opportunities to go to the farmer's market. But by and large summer is busy. And expensive. And scheduled.

Now I don't think there's anything wrong with all those activities I sign my kids up for. In fact, I just signed them up for something last night. But somehow I want to get summer back. My kind of summer. Long, lazy days spent playing and reading. Impromptu outings to the zoo. Slow living.

How to do that? I'm not sure. One thing that seems to work for us is to schedule vacations. And not just Williamsburg/Disney kind of vacations where we're constantly on the go. This year we've rented a house in North Carolina for a week, and it's pretty remote. It doesn't even have an internet connection. We think it'll be good for our family just to be together, away from it all, doing outdoorsy activities for a week. We also have a couple of beach vacations on the calendar, and those are great for helping you slow down. When the only thing on the schedule for the day is going to the beach, you've captured a great summer day.

My strategy for summer has changed this year too. I used to feel pressure to get my kids involved in things, to hone their talents and interests. I didn't want them to miss out on something their friends were doing. Secretly I think I didn't want them to fall behind. But this year I'm letting go of that competitive spirit and trying to give them a nice summer for the least amount of money possible. Yes, there is a great music camp they could go to. Maybe it would move them along in their piano lessons. But we're not going, and our calendar and our pocketbooks thank us. There's a great drama camp they've done before that they want to go to again, but when faced with the choice between spending 300 dollars for a few kids to do that versus going to our family reunion for free, I'm choosing the family reunion this time around.

Now, lest you think my kids will be sitting around all summer, we are sending two of them to camp. It's expensive, but so worth it. The spiritual development and independence they gain there just can't be duplicated in any other setting. For us, that's money well spent.

Maybe slowing down in the summer is mainly a state of mind. Making time for what you want to do instead of succumbing to the pressure to keep up with the Joneses. Making lists of ways to spend time together instead of lists of activities the kids could be involved in. Quieting the voices in your head that tell you a good mom would take the kids somewhere instead of sitting on the hammock and reading a book. Trusting that if you slow down the kids will learn to be content with less activity rather than fearing endless days of "I'm bored!" Finding simple things to do at home or at a park instead of making every outing elaborate. Letting the lawn mowing wait another day to make time for s'mores in the back yard.

I don't know how to do this slow summer thing, but I know I'm going to try a little harder to figure it out this year. It seems silly to say that my goal for the summer is for all of us to learn to slow down, but that's what I'm going for here. How about you? How do you slow down?