Storing September

September is such a great month. It's often sunny and still warm enough to be outside, but there's a crispness in the air that reminds us that fall and winter will be upon us soon. It's a good month for savoring the last bits of summer and storing up goodness to get us through the cold months ahead. This little poem about September sums it up well.

STORING SEPTEMBER

You ask me what I did today,

I could pretend and say

“I don’t remember.”

But, no, I’ll tell you what I did today--

I stored September.

Sat in the sun and let the sun sink in,

Let all the warmth of it caress my skin.

When winter comes, my skin will still remember

The day I stored September.

And then, my eyes--

I filled them with the deepest, bluest skies

and all the traceries of wasps and butterflies.

When winter comes, my eyes will still remember

The day they stored September.

And then there was cricket song to fill my ears!

And the taste of grapes

And the deep purple of them!

And asters, like small clumps of sky. . .

You know how much I love them.

That’s what I did today

And I know why.

Just simply for the love of it,

I stored September.

-Elizabeth Rooney

This particular September we took a trip back up to the lake house in Michigan to grasp at the last bits of our wonderful summer. We had glorious weather, wonderful food, and precious playtime. What a great way to store up September.

But reality struck when we got home--trials little and big, as I wrote about a few days ago. And it's got me thinking. We never know what's coming up ahead. We might sail along great for a long time, or we might be faced with terrible things tomorrow. Financial disaster. The breakup of a family. A medical diagnosis with life-changing consequences. The death of someone near and dear. If we can store up the wonderful moments of September to get us through the winter, can we also use times of calm to store up something to help us through the storms of life?

I think we can. We can store up relationships, caring for them in the day to day so that in times of stress or busyness they can stand up to a bit of neglect. We can store up Scripture and blessings in a journal to open and read down the road. We can store up happy moments, taking a weekend off to enjoy our lives instead of always trying to do, do, do. We can store up tidbits of knowledge that we don't need yet, but may need soon. We can store up the feel of our child's hand in ours and the smoothness of their skin when they are little. The sound of their mayhem and laughter. The joy of sharing a sunset with someone we love. We can store up all our little glimpses of heaven.

So as I go about these weeks when a dark cloud hangs over me as I watch loved ones struggle and persevere, I don't want to waste these moments. I want to store up things I'll need when I have an opportunity to encourage them, the same things I'll need when my turn in the fire comes. I want to store up all the Septembers of life to get me through the snowstorms of January and the dark sludge of February, until glorious June comes again with its promise of sunny days ahead.

The Rule of Threes

The rule of three in literature tells us that things are more interesting when they come in threes. That's why there are three little pigs, Goldilocks and the three bears, and three blind mice. That's all well and good in the imaginary world of fairy tales, but it also seems to apply to real life in unfortunate ways, at least to me.

In my experience things never break on their own, it's always in a group of three--car/computer/washing machine or microwave/dishwasher/dehumidifier--to mention two examples from our house in the last few years.

This week it's felt like bad news has hit in a group of ten. Things have been going along swimmingly, with only tiny little bumps like a mouse invasion (okay, I'll admit that one was a big enough deal to me that my screams woke the children--but in the grand scheme I realize it's small potatoes) and broken appliances and a schedule that's packed a little too full . . . and then suddenly I've been blindsided with a lot of bad news in one week. Big, life-changing stuff. None of it directly impacts me, but it still weighs on me and gets me down.

Sometimes I have a hard time processing bad news. I want to do something. To fix what's broken. To mend hurting hearts. To make everything all right. The problem is that I can't do that. These things are out of my control, and in this world there's a lot that's broken.

Here's all I have to offer, the plain and simple truth: Jesus can fix anything, and He is in the process of fixing everything. It may not be how we want or when we want, but someday everything that has been broken by sin will be made right. What terrific news! In my better moments I share this news, like the little kid who goes around saying, "don't worry about that broken toy. My dad can fix it!" Sharing that hope makes me more hopeful and sometimes spreads it to others.

So now I share it with you--what I think are the most encouraging words in the whole Bible, and the ones I need to hear today as I go about my day with these heavy burdens on my heart. Maybe they'll encourage you too:

"Then I saw a new heaven and a new earth, for the first heaven and the first earth had passed away, and the sea was no more. And I saw the holy city, new Jerusalem, coming down out of heaven from God, prepared as a bride adorned for her husband. And I heard a loud voice from the throne saying, 'Behold, the dwelling place of God is with man. He will dwell with them, and they will be his people, and God himself will be with them as their God. He will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death shall be no more, neither shall there be mourning, nor crying, nor pain anymore, for the former things have passed away.' And he who was seated on the throne said, 'Behold, I am making all things new. . . . It is done! I am the Alpha and the Omega, the beginning and the end. To the thirsty I will give from the spring of the water of life without payment.'" (Rev. 21:1-6)

I sure hope your week is going better than mine is, but if not, I hope these words help you refocus your heart like they've helped me refocus mine.

For Those Who Sent Someone to School This Week

This week was back to school for a lot of us. And I just kept being struck by the fact that in all the transitions and send-offs, mom is the one who feels it most. We're the ones who wish we could nurture our babies and help them over every bump and hurdle. We're the ones hiding behind our sunglasses so as not to show our tears. We're the ones left behind, wondering what's next for us now that less of our time is spent in direct contact with our favorite kiddos. 

Did you send somebody to school this week? Whether it was for the first time or the fifteenth, whether it was down the street to kindergarten or across the country to college, you did a brave thing. You probably wished you could hold your baby captive for a little longer, safe and sound in your own home. But you didn't.

You sent them off to fight their own battles. You sent them off to explore new worlds and meet new people. You showed them that you have confidence that they'll do just fine without you. You taught them to do the next thing even if it's a little scary. 

I think that's what motherhood is all about--letting go when we would rather hang on. So pour yourself a cup of tea, shed a few tears about the passing of time if you need to, and give yourself some grace if it takes a few days to get back into the swing of things. Letting go is hard, and you did it!

Flair Pens and Other School Supplies

I now refer to it as the flair pen incident of 2006. My oldest child was starting first grade, so I dutifully took all three children (ages 6, 3, and 1) to the store to buy school supplies. Consulting the list, I checked off items one by one: folders, paper, notebooks, pencils...and then I came to item number 175: black flair pens. Unfortunately, Target was sold out. So the four of us went to Office Max. Also sold out. And the grocery store. Also sold out. And Walgreens. Also sold out. And Carlson's art store. Also sold out. I think I finally ordered them online and paid exorbitant shipping costs because obviously my child needed 2 flair pens for her first day of school. It was on the list, and I was a rule follower.

Fast forward one year. I had learned a few things, among them that half the things on the school supply list don't get used, or are put into the teacher's cabinet for general classroom use and they really don't go through 30 boxes of dixie cups. 30 boxes of kleenex, probably. Flair pens were on the list again in 2007, and we sent in the ones that had come home at the end of first grade, having been used once. In 2009 I ordered a jumbo-sized box of 30 flair pens that we're still working our way through.

So no, Alison, I am not going to go shopping to three or four stores looking for an expandable that has eight pockets. All the ones at Target had seven, and I think you can make do. Double up on subjects if you need to. And no, Bethany, I don't think we need to send in four composition books for gym class on the first day. When you've used the first two I'll buy you another one. And Meredith, the list may say Ticonderoga pencils, but I think Dixon-Ticonderoga is close enough. I am never again dragging three children to five or six stores looking for flair pens. I've learned my lesson: close enough is good enough.

Glorious Boredom

Summer vacation starts in just a few short days. As you saw in my post last week, I've been in an organizing frenzy. I think I'm trying to get a hold on my sanity before the kids are home. All day. Every day. Including the days when I'm packing for our vacations, which as you saw in my other post last week are a lot of work. I have a plan for how we'll all get by this summer, which I may share tomorrow. Or I may wait to see how well it works.

I want to let you in on a little secret that I don't think my kids know: I think it's good for them to be bored. When they come to me with wails of "I'm bored! I have nothing to do!" I don't panic, I secretly rejoice. And then I offer to find them something to do, which of course they decline because they know it will involve work on their part.

The thing is, I think it is in boredom that creativity is birthed. Boredom necessitates growth. It drives kids to think and do new things. Dissatisfaction dissolves as simple joys are rediscovered.

If we fill boredom with constant outings and mom-directed activities and that brain drain called TV, it never achieves its purpose of creative discovery. But if we let it fester for a few minutes, or even a few days, it's amazing what happens. New games are created.

(okay, this was maybe not my favorite game, and that's obviously an old picture, but I couldn't resist including it.)

Old toys are rediscovered.

Siblings become friends.

 Children curl up in corners with good books. 

Culinary masterpieces emerge from the kitchen.

Stories are imagined.

 Artistic masterpieces appear on bedroom walls as if by magic.

Scientific experiments are unveiled.

Tadpoles are captured and observed.

Entire cities are built (yes, this picture is a few years old too).

So as you start this summer, go ahead and make your bucket list. Hit the waterparks and museums and mini golf courses. Take advantage of the wonderful treasure that is summer with kids. But on your days home, don't be afraid of a little boredom. Don't view it as a problem to be fixed or feel guilty if you haven't kept your kids happy and busy every single second. Don't pressure yourself to maximize every opportunity for activity or feel like a failure if days go by in which you accomplish nothing. Embrace the boredom, let it simmer for a little while, and then see what wonderful discoveries your kids make. And if you can find time for a little of your own boredom, that's even better!

Vacation Tips for Families

I remember someone once telling me that after you have kids you never go on vacation again. You go on trips, on which you do all the stuff you normally do for the children, only it's harder because you don't have the conveniences and routines you have at home. Happy thought, isn't it?

But I do think travel is worth it. It builds memories and bonds you together as a family. Even the worst vacations you will one day look back on with fondness. Well, maybe not the one where more than half of the people at the 60-plus person family reunion got the same stomach bug. No fond memories there. But even the hours of squabbling in the car yield happy memories down the road. And the night we tried car-camping after a full day on the road with a four-year-old and a crawling baby. The four-year-old was delighted with the tent and would not stop singing. The baby spent the night crawling all over us because she had been cooped up in the car all day. Daddy, who had driven many hours that day, was not happy. Not a whole lot of sleeping took place, and we never tried that again. And yet we look back on it with a certain nostalgia.

So, in my twelve years of packing and road tripping with children in tow, here's what I've learned:

1) Pack light. Figure out what you think you need and then put half of it back. Especially if you have access to a washing machine--it's nice to come home with most of your laundry done anyway, so there's no need to pack outfits for your entire time if you can do laundry while you're there. When I was a kid we took trips to England every other summer or so, and the rule was that each kid had to be able to carry all their own stuff. It wasn't easy for my mom to pack, I'm sure, since we were gone for six weeks at a time, but somehow she managed, and it made it much easier that each child could carry their own suitcase into their hotel room. And this was in the days before wheeled suitcases, so we actually carried our own bags.

We always travel by car, so that rule isn't quite as important. I used to give each kid their own suitcase with the idea that they would pack it, carry it out of the car to their room, and then repack when it was time to head home. That never really happened, so I've recently developed a new tactic: pack all the kids' clothes in one big plastic tub.

It is a lot more compact than individual suitcases, and they unpack their stuff once we get there anyway, so the suitcases just sit empty and in the way for the week. Plus it's only one thing for my strapping husband to carry in and out, rather than five.

2) Pack toys that your kids can play together. Think legos, cars, sports equipment, craft supplies, dolls of the same type. Have the kids agree on one or two categories of toys and then put them all in a box or two and then that's it for the toys. And look, it all goes in one big box with a lid! Make that two boxes: one for indoor toys/games and one for beach stuff and outside toys.

3) Pack light for the car. If you have video games or a DVD player in the car, indulge them with unlimited screen time. I used to pack a box or bag for each kid. Now I have one tall soft-sided cooler-type box with a zipper lid and their stuff all has to fit in it. DS's, music, books, stuffed animals, stuff to draw with, etc.

If it doesn't fit in the one box, it's not going. (Well, other than that tiny little backpack for the littlest tyke.) I've found that if I pack a lot of stuff for them to do they just make a mess getting it all out and they really only do one or two things the entire trip anyway. Having a lot of things to do in the car seems to not make the kids any more content than they are with only a few things to do--so make the car neater and your life easier by packing light.

4) Don't waste stops on eating. Find nice rest stops where the kids can run around, and then set up a game of tag or get out a soccer ball and kick it around. When it's time to eat, eat in the car because that's a great form of entertainment. McDonald's playlands are great too, of course, especially if the kids are old enough to play independently while you eat in peace.

5) Books on CD are great. I've found that it is a little hard to find things that are interesting to a variety of ages and appropriate for all listeners. Bill Cosby and even Garrison Keillor are not as appropriate as you might think (we discovered the hard way)! Here are a few we've enjoyed: The Princess and Curdie series by George MacDonald, the Narnia series by C. S. Lewis, the Redwall books, Mrs. Frisby and the Rats of Nimh, and the Fudge books by Judy Blume (although parts of those books had me cringing).

6) Come equipped with a few things to do on a rainy day. I save craft ideas throughout the year, and then when we go on vacation I bring supplies for one craft we've never tried before. I always feel more relaxed if I have a few surprises up my sleeve for those times when the kids are bored and then grown-ups don't want to go out.

7) Don't forget those medical supplies. It's no fun to have to run out at 10:00 at night in a strange town for some baby Tylenol or Benedryl cream for that strange rash.

So there you have it. I've just saved you a dozen years of trial and error!

If You Clean a Cupboard

If you clean your kitchen cupboards,

you'll realize how disorganized your bathroom is. You'll go to clean that up

and find a crayon, which will remind you that the craft and summer "school" stuff is in disarray. While you're cleaning that

you'll realize that you need to get rid of stuff from the cabinet to make room for the crayons. While you're cleaning that you'll notice an old table cloth. 

When you put that on the table you'll realize that you're a little hungry. You'll go to the kitchen cupboards to get a snack and realize just how nice they look. Which will remind you that it would be really nice to clean your bedroom. But then you'll remember that first you have to organize the sock pile.

And you'll decide to just enjoy your coffee and well-deserved cookie and hope that the sock fairy shows up.