A Word of Thanks

We went to our first high school choir concert this week, and were blown away by the repertoire and talent of these kids. When we were in high school we sang pop music with a few slightly more serious pieces thrown in here and there. These kids were singing real music, pieces with poetry and depth and musical texture. Some of it was even overtly Christian.

So when we got home, I wrote a quick email to the choir director thanking her for choosing such great music. Because if we don't thank people when we are pleased with their work, how will they know that we like what they are doing? A timely note of thanks is not only a kind encouragement, it also keeps people moving in the same direction. Which is especially important in a public school, when others may be criticizing the very things we are so happy with.

The next evening I mentioned to my husband that I had written a nice note to the choir director. He smiled and said, "I did too." So now either we look like we never talk to one another, or like we are on some kind of a campaign.

How about you? Who could use a little note of thanks from you today?

Mondays with Martha: Favorite Spaces

When your kitchen looks like this...

It's important to focus on the positives about your home. So for this week's homemakery post I'd like to focus on favorite spaces. What is your favorite place in your home? Maybe you have to think for a minute to determine what it is. Or maybe you know what your favorite place is but you have neglected it for a bit and it is currently too cluttered or dirty to rank as your favorite place. Or maybe you're in your favorite space this very minute.

Here is mine.


I love it because we haven't had a fireplace in many years, and we're fire-in-the-fireplace people. I also love it because I envision many happy moments of family togetherness here. It is absolutely the perfect place to read Little House in the Big Woods to my little people. And also apparently the ideal spot for an animal hospital. This is the third or fourth iteration of the mantel, and the best so far, but I'd welcome decorating suggestions if you're so inclined.

What about you? I'd love to hear about--or better yet get a picture of--your favorite place in your home. Leave a comment or send me a picture and I'll share it here tomorrow!

Life with No Regrets

We pause and catch our breath when we hear of a friend's cancer diagnosis, or a child who has died way too young, or a deadly explosion at the finish line of a race. We vow to hold our children tighter, to live with no regrets. And we do slow down for a moment or two, until life starts racing by again and we have to run to catch up with it.

We hear older parents tell us that they wish they had enjoyed life more, that it all went by too fast, and we decide to learn from their experiences and slow down. We ponder the passing of time, perhaps shedding a few tears for all the milestones that have come and gone. And we again vow to live with no regrets, to savor each moment.

That perspective is good to keep in mind, but we do still have to live. Children need to be fed and clothed. Careers need to be managed so they can be productive and fulfilling. Houses need to be cleaned lest we end up on an episode of Hoarders. Life is time-consuming, and much of it is mundane. We can't escape the dailiness of it all. Nor should we--God gave Adam and Eve the garden to tend, good work to fill their days.

The question of what I would do today if this were my last day on earth has to be balanced with the question of how I can prepare for tomorrow in case this isn't my last day. I think it's about grasping and loving the "heaven moments" AND the "have-to-dos." We don't want to miss a moment to slow down and talk with someone we love, but we also mustn't neglect putting dinner on the table.

I think living with no regrets is more about having a contented and grateful outlook than it is about anything else. My problem isn't that I don't realize my children are growing up too fast, my problem is that I spend too much time mourning that fact and feeling guilty if every day I spend with them isn't full of wonderful tea parties or exciting outings to the zoo. I look at the drops that are falling through my hands instead of the living water that remains.

The thing I will most regret is if I wish away all my daily tasks searching for some elusive life-without-regrets. I don't want to be guilted into despising the work I need to do. Living without regret means finding the rainbow in the dish soap, as Ann Voskamp reminds us, or savoring the sweet smile on my toddler's face as I help them get dressed. It's thanking God for hours of editing work, even if it does keep me from playing in the yard with the kids all day--and then really enjoying the 15 minutes I do have to play in the yard. God made us to need daily bread, so the work we have to put in to get that daily bread is every bit as sacred as the celebration of eating it.

Today, I will live without regrets by thanking God for every moment, the highs and the lows. I will rejoice in the simple things. I will enjoy my work. And I will live without the guilty voice inside that tells me to savor the time that slips through  my fingers--living gratefully IS savoring.

A Thankful Month

I've been delighted this month to read so many friends' facebook updates of things they are thankful for. It's been a nice counterbalance to the fact that stores seem to skip from Halloween to Christmas without pausing for Thanksgiving. The discipline of gratitude, so eloquently written about in One Thousand Gifts by Ann Voskamp, has been so helpful to me this past year. I don't write in my thankful journal every day, but many days I do, and now I'm up to 487. I even bought my kids little journals this summer so they could keep their own list of things they are thankful for. My oldest has been filling out her thanksgiving countdown calendar with things related to each day that she's thankful for, rather than the usual "family, friends, church" kind of list the others have been keeping so far.

So I wondered to myself this morning why I haven't been counting down the days to thanksgiving with thankful facebook posts. Part of it, no doubt, is that I don't want to seem like I'm bragging, and if I write that I'm thankful that my child mastered a new skill that can come across as showmanship. Part of it is that I don't want to act like life is all rosy when it isn't, or to seem insensitive to the fact that your life might be decidedly less rosy than mine. But I don't think that's the whole story. I think I was missing an important element, something that occurred to me today.

When times are tough, it's encouraging to read what other people are thankful for. On a day like today, when I'm pretty discouraged for legitimate reasons, it's uplifting to be reminded that there are some really great things going on in the world right now, today. Maybe not in my life, but in the lives of my friends. I think sometimes thankful lists, rather than being opportunities to brag, are actually opportunities to encourage. And that's something I can get behind.

In that spirit, here's my list, the first nine days of gratefulness. Not a cheery list that ignores that parts of life are really hard right now, not an opportunity to brag, but an opportunity to say that my great God has given wonderful gifts to me--and He's given wonderful gifts to you, too, if you care to look for them.

1) My husband went on an amazing two-week missions trip, and the six of us left at home managed to be mostly patient with one another and have a good time. Win-win.

2) The way my two-year-old prefaces statements with "guess what?"

3) God reigns for all time, regardless of who is in office any given year.

4) Wonderful, supportive friends. When the going gets tough, you find out what your friends are made of. Mine are pure gold.

5) Timeless, thoughtful worship. The fact that we have centuries' worth of hymn tunes and texts that express Biblical truth in winsome and beautiful ways.

6) The fact that at any given time one or more of my children are doing really well. I may be discouraged in this parenting journey, but usually one or two kids are showing maturity or growth that makes me feel like in spite of my flaws, our faithful God is helping them turn out okay.

7) Our recent bout of stomach flu (which occurred mostly while I was a single parent at home) wasn't too bad or too long.

8) A car that works. One of the doors is broken so we're only using one side door, but the car itself is working just fine. And the broken door served as a reminder that given the car's age, it is remarkable that it is working at all!

9)  The joy of treasures found at a resale store--in this case some castle legos and a new snowman for my collection.

So there you have it. Some of the things I've been grateful for since November 1.

Praise

Did you miss me? I thought so.

I was in Amelia Island, Florida. With my husband. Without our kids. Yes, you read that right. Five days of luxury. No finding food for the kids, putting them to bed, or thinking about what they might need. I had actual adult conversation for every meal for four and a half days. It was glorious.

We were there for a conference that connects givers (foundations, wealthy families, etc.) with big ideas and some worthy ministries. It's not a money pitch, just three days of worship, Bible teaching, and breakout sessions on various topics related to world events and generosity.

Some of what I learned may come out in the next few days, but today I'm just thinking about reentry into regular life. I woke up to the early-morning school rush and was immediately hit with reality. Missing gym clothes, kids dragging their feet, no fruit for school lunches . . . the usual stuff. And then I determined that we really do have a moth problem (those meal moths that eat flour--yuck!). So I cleaned and disinfected the cupboard and then went to the grocery store.

About halfway through the afternoon I was reminded of a session I went to this weekend. It was on grief (two couples who lost children, one of which was Steven Curtis and MaryBeth Chapman, who are heroes of mine). One of the dads was talking about how someone told him that in those months of intense grief he would need to intentionally choose to praise God. So every day for a year he spent his hour-long drive to work singing along with a praise tape (this was 20 years ago).

At the time I thought that was a great idea for people who are really struggling. But today as I was inwardly moaning about being back to my boring old life, I realized that I, too, need to choose to praise God. My life is pretty easy, but that doesn't mean praise always comes naturally. Sometimes when life is predictable we start to think we can manage pretty well without God. And we forget to thank him for the many blessings in our lives. I don't think I usually think of praise as something I need to discipline myself to do, but it is.

So this afternoon when I was getting really tired, instead of making another pot of coffee I sat down and played and sang a couple of hymns. It was remarkable how that helped to center me and redirect my thoughts. And those songs stayed with me for the rest of the afternoon, right up until the time my oldest daughter called after her after-school activity to say that she had changed her mind and would like to try out for the musical after all. Today. Meaning that I needed to help her memorize lines and a song in the half hour between the time she got home and the time I had to leave to take the other girls to their piano lessons. Never a dull moment around here, I tell you.

Which means that there's no time like now to take a moment and praise Jesus!